It's All Been Said Before
Have you ever had so many words or dreams or hopes bottled up inside that you figured you might as well just leave the bottle cap sealed shut? Well, if you are reading this post…this is the bottle cap—my bottle cap—flying off like a champagne cork on New Year’s Eve.
This is my exhale. This is me giving myself space to be me in whatever ways I choose, in whatever ways my Creator leads me to create.
For a very, very long time, I lived under a cloud of insecurities and a paralyzing fear of what the naysayers would think. Even worse, I remained trapped under the lies that no one needs to read another blog post from a mom blogger…or no one will care what I say. I’m also a writer, a musician, a lover of food, conversation and tedious creativity. I’m a person who strives to live with a heart of warmth and hospitality. I’m also someone who fights for being open and true with myself, my God, and with those in my life.
But being open and true with oneself is one of the most difficult things to do, I’ve realized. And being open and true in my heart toward God? Even more difficult. You see, that cloud of insecurities and that paralyzing fear weren’t just from a feeling or a hunch. These crippling voices were rooted deeply somewhere in my soul — hovering, waiting in the shadows, becoming more prominent than my actual passions. They were core beliefs about myself and about my Creator that were simply untrue. There was hard work that had to be done to pull out the thorns that were stuck in my sides…and my heels and my fingertips for that matter. (Of course, no one would have ever known because I’m highly developed in my skill of crafting facades of confidence).
I also held a bit of a grudge against Ecclesiastes, as King Solomon said over and over that there is nothing new to be said. It’s all been said before. Well, yes. I suppose there is nothing new about another blogger making a presence, or another first-time-mom sharing her traumatic birth story or another worship leader sharing some song lyrics. It probably has all been said and done before.
Perhaps, though, it means something that I would be popping off the bottle cap right now, in this time, with you. Perhaps the words I’m saying aren’t extremely unique or uncommon, but they reach readers today, in 2019, that somehow find life and encouragement and inspiration for a present-moment hardship or situation. Well that, my friends, is worth the risk that I might be repeating words or ideas from minds of the past.
The most freeing idea to commit to is that, just as I uphold and celebrate the greatness in other people, I am only responsible for unapologetically being my best—and only I know what being my best looks like. A bird building its nest doesn’t look to the next bird and compare how beautiful the design or how strong the branches. It also doesn’t apologize if it fills its nest with 4 eggs while another has only 2. It just creates what it has the ability to create to be fully alive in its existence.
To be fully alive in my existence is to pay attention to what the Spirit of God is saying, and to make that come alive in these moments that I am creating. No comparisons, only inspiration. I hope that you will be inspired to do the same, because our voices and our stories matter here in this moment.
Inhale. Exhale. Speak.
Thank you for joining me! And welcome to the first post of HOPE IN THE OPEN.